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Daily Blog 2023

A personal diary of current events and feelings.

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March 27, 2023: It's Gun(Mam'), The "Femcel" Epedemic, and Chris is Free!

Normally, I don't talk about current events all too often but this one was too juicy to let slide. Well..there's actually two events. Chris Chan has been let off on bail! Should there be a homeless arc? I dunno. In anycase, be sure to protect your moms at all cost. I don't understand why they can't just insitutionalize him already. The poor sod already suffered enough. But mental illness treatment is a joke here in the West. It's been like that since the 80s when insane ayslums were nullified (and purposely so). Would I had been tossed in one? Not likely. I think for all of my faults and flaws. I certainly wasn't the craziest one in the room at any point in my life.

Speaking of crazy, some girl (around my age zone no-less) got pissy over trans rights and shot up a Christian School. Oh and she's a reddit user too if you needed more proof of how unhinged those people are over there. She identified as male or something so She (he her they his we wuz they were dey fly now it shit idfk) is just sign of things to come in the next few years I believe. This is just a prediction and nothing else so take it with a grain of salt.

Since the 2010s (though technically since the 2000s), there were all of these mass shootings and stuff (mainly from single males from the milliennials generation). There was presistant fear that single lonesome males in their late teens and 20s were so numerous, that these sort of random acts of violence were going to be common place within the next decade or so. But I am seeing a new pattern emerge now that most milliennials are going into or are in their 30s like I am (And some are in their 40s too. Jeez...I feel old already). For you see, most of those short tempered incelebates had already done their "genocide crusade" against society and either died or will die in jail, or they off'd themselves, or they had turned into trans (just a slower method of suicide tbh but more of that later), or maybe they met an unfortunate death due to some natural accident or health related issue (Obesity, drugs, etc). Meanwhile, those on the docile end of the spectrum of inceldom are still around, and while things may not be good for us right now...there is the possibility for single males in my age group to find or obtain some hope later down the line. Since we were able to go through an entire decade (or sometimes even an entire lifetime) of loneliness and suffering, that we had become strong enough mentallly that we can start working on improving ourselves. It's the sort of path I'm taking and I hope others in my situation would take too. I'd made a lot of progress but there's still things I want to do to live the life I want to live such as finidng love and friendship, etc.

But what about those in my age group on the opposite end of the gender spectrum? Specifically those who haven't gone through the quarter life crisis of the 20s that men face these days. I had heard the term "Femcel" given to these sort of girls but I don't think that's necessarily the correct definition but for the sake of simplicity we'll go ahead with that term and be lazy about it. So Femcels, may or may not had social lives but generally speaking, they are socially active, some of whom are very socially activie. Going on dates, being part of groups, going to college and getting a degree, traveling the world, basically having a very very active lifestyle doing stuff unlike the stationary and purgatory nature of male incels in their 20s. The 20s are often considered the peak of the female experience. They are young, energetic, and the world is basically open up to them with all these opportunities, representation, and a massive support system catered towards them. But this peak has to come down at some point, and usually it occurs right around the start of their 30s and mid 30s. Perhaps there's a biological decline to their apperance...hmmm that's debatable....or perhaps it's the age thing...or maybe it's just the realization that despite doing all of these fun and exciting things throughout their 20s, that perhaps these "femcels" don't feel joy in anything they do anymore. So they look for copes. That could be anything from cats (which I am personally not a fan of as am I allergic to them, they are responisible for killing off a bunch of local wildlife, and there's been research that shows that being around cat piss can alter your mental state. Pretty awful pet imo), meme religions like western buddaism, far left politics, or those wierd crystal cults. I think within the next couple of years, as millenials start to get older, your going to see a flip in unhappiness of the sexes. It'll be women who are more likely to go insane and engage in crazy forms of terrorism while the rate for males will decrease. This mass shooting that happened today (Along with various periods of history such as the Victorian era where there were plenty of cases of pyschotic women doing some crazy things like murdering family members or torturing slaves, etc) are proof, examples, and patterns of what we can expect to see in this ever declining path towards uncertainty and chaos. What are going to be the political ramifications of having a bunch of angry cat ladies within the next few years? Many of whom are certainly going to be more political active (More or less voting wise as young people just protest and don't even vote unlike older people). It's hard to say. I don't have a college degree in political science or social studies so leave that to someone who cares. All this is just a half-hearted predicition from some guy on /biz/ telling everyone to invest in catnip. Isn't there a shortage of that lately?

So yeah, hearts and condoliences. You shouldn't attack defense-less people because it's absolutely cowardly and dishonorable. Especially kids. Kids tend to be dumb as shit, they don't know any better. It doesn't make sense to target them. That is unless you got mental issues of course which this woman clearly had. Trannies man. You know...there use to be a diagnoses for this sort of thing. It's called Gender Disphoria or something like that. Oddly enough, most of these so called trannies are usualy the first ones to call someone an incel as some kind of insult when it's almost guaranteed that they themselves are probably incelebate too (male usually). Instead of just dealing with it like a normal person. They adopt these fake personallities in hopes that it will win them social clout on the internet, particular with women whom they still want to fuck. In otherwords, they are wannabe lesbians. Perhaps they consumed too much Yuri/Yuri bait? So did I and I'm not like that. Is it chemicals in the water? Perhaps. But the point is, it's extreme. It's an extreme choice in life to go that path as usually, once you start going to the biological modification path (which isn't even medically possible or viable because it's no different from cutting off your leg and calling yourself a naturally born cripple), there's no going back if you find out that there are somethings you just cannot change in your body's functions to alter your gender 100%. It's a form of castration, self eugentics, and I don't feel sorry for those who are weak enough to fall for that slow and painful death, unless it was forced upon them by somebody. With that said, I'm not going to stop anyone from going down that path either. It's just not my problem. But keep that shit away from everyone else. Nobody cares except for anons online (whom going to mock you regardless of what you say or do) or virtual signalers who are half hearted about their support for your odd behavior and secretly those sorts of people are not as "tolerant" or "good hearted" as you might think.

March 25, 2023: Shitty Bills

A huge chunk of my savings were completely obliterated. And no, it wasn't crypto or stocks. It was the goverment and the school edjewcational system. Basically I had to renew my vehicle all over again because you have to do that least in this state. So that way my money can go to the state so they can keep fucking up roads that were perfectly fine and rebuild them just to piss me off and many other drivers on the way to work. I almost got into a road rage incident because some asshole kept honking at me whlie in the middle of traffic when the prick should had realized I was behind like 10+ cars and couldn't even move out to another lane if I could because a huge chunk of the road is under "construction". Not to mention, he got real real close to smashing my car's rear. And of course it's a Nissan driver. If would had pulled that off...things would had got more ugly. But that's besides the point. I had to pay almost $100 just to renew my vehicle registration and get it inspected. The earlier the better. Oh and the best part: I ended up having to call my state vehicle registration shit and do it over the phone because the website link I got through the mail didn't even work for me. Wonderful. Just wonderful. I love talking to people on the phone. No really. I love waiitng like 3 hours just to get something that should've been done in a minute. God I hate this state.

Then I get another bill. This time from my college that I was supposed to go to last winter but I got screwed over by my mom when she told me not to go anymore. They wanted around $200. For what? I didn't get anything out of that semester. I didn't even go to class or step foot on campus. But I had to pay or else they are going to send collection agency on my ass. My credit goy score is already down the drain as it I had to pay it so I don't get even more fucked in the ass when they start using that social credit cyrpto currency planned for 2024. Fuck. Well...looks like I'm not buying anything else for myself for the next week or so. But don't get me wrong. I'm not empty of cash money. I still have some savings. Just not as much as would like to have. It just sucks that a huge chunk of it went to shit that doesn't even benefit me whatsover. Filthy theieves.

Positives? Um...well...hmmm....I don't know. I've haven't felt really inpsired to do anything but I had a good time playing some PSP games right before going to bed. That's something right? Otherwise, my life updates have been uneventful lately. So dailyblogs and everything else has been slow lately. Despite the awful time change. I hate waking up with this time change and I miss the slow days of winter. Especially when it would get dark around 6 PM. Max comfy. Now it's max gay as fuck. I my room. Looks much better now. I got mad allergies now after sweeping and dusting everything. Got rid of some stuff I'm going to sell including my cassette collection. Sad to see it go but I don't want to horde anything. Making space for tools and 3D printing stuff that will potentially give me some opportunities down the line. I already have relatives and such begging me to print stuff for them and are even going as far as to pay me to print them some models. One guy asked me to print some AK Zenitco style charging handle covers. I had field tested ones printed in PLA+ and they seem to be holding up fine. That's probably going to be my first sales batch. EZ print. EZ money.

March 12, 2023: A long Hiatus.

This is the second time I have to rewrite this blog because my stupid internet crapped out and I made the mistake of writing it on Neocities’ html editor instead of libreoffice writer.” Librewolf crashed and I lost everything. How fun. So here we go again.

I have been absent from my website’s dailyblogs alongside my writing projects on my other site for quite a while. There’s a reason for that. I’ve been sick for a while and I have been focused on IRL projects and hobbies while I was gone.

Gotta talk about my 3rd run in with Covid. My mom brought it home again and this time she was more sick than she was last time but nowhere near as bad when I caught it last year. She’s still coughing now but it’s not really doing anything to affect her routine. When I caught it again, I only had it for about three days at most. I had a minor headache, a light fever, back pain, light chest pain, a weird sensation in my throat, and overall mild fatigue. It wasn’t anything terrible but I generally didn’t feel like doing anything when I had it other than playing my PSP. More on that later.

The other thing I have been doing while I wasn’t sick was getting as much range time as I can while the weather was still cool and mild before the heat starts to kick in (which is has fairly recently and thus I can’t go outside to the range until the Fall season unfortunately). I mainly focused on getting good with my conceal carry pistols as I feel like I needed to work on my skills with handguns more than rifles and it’s the most likely weapon I would end up using in a self defense situation over a rifle. I basically practiced safely drawing and re-holstering my handguns so that I don’t accidentally transition myself when I carry appendix. I also worked on trigger control and proper posture and I’ve certainly feel confident enough with striker fired and single/double action semi-autos now. Unfortunately, my 3D printed Glock 19 didn’t make it as the trigger guard snapped off after putting a few rounds through it. I think the firearm was too hot which weaken the trigger guard causing it to snap off. It still feeds and functions but a semi-auto without a trigger guard isn’t really safe to have around or comfortable to shoot so I had to bin it. I can always print another one and use a different printing method to improve the durability of my prints.

Of course, firearm related things aren’t the only things I tinker with when it comes to 3D printing. Lately I have been on a Bionicle binge as I was once (and kind of still am) a huge Bionicle fan. I read the books, played the games, watch the three movies that mattered, and used to have a collection of them as a kid. So I started printing some Matoran/Tohunga on my 3D printer. I didn’t recall them being so small but they are modeled within Lego’s spec even though they aren’t as durable. Still, they are pretty cool, kind of cute, and make great display models in my room. Not to mention, they are quick to print and you can get creative with color combinations, paints, and masks. I would love to print some Toa someday but I’ll probably need to get some basic Lego technic pieces first before I can do that.

As mentioned before, I have been playing a lot of PSP lately, especially when I was feeling sick. That’s because I had been sort of reviving my handheld console and doing things like changing the shell, upgrading the screen to an IPS one, and even doing some 3D printed mods for it too. One of the coolest upgrades I did for it was print an SNES style dpad which feels much nicer than Sony’s dpad. It’s especially great for 2D style and racing games like Wipeout Pulse. Homebrewing roms and software on the PSP is basically the easiest thing to do out there so you can get a micro-sd adapter that works with the PSP and have a bunch of PS1 and PSP titles in addition to some emulator and roms. Hardware mods are especially cheap but I did have a hard time with some of my screws on my original shell as they have corroded somehow. Maybe my room was too humid or perhaps it’s seen a lot of use since I had used it extensively back in the day. Cdromance has a ton of PSP isos and other roms including translated stuff we never got in the west. Specifically visual novels. It’s pretty cool.

Uh….no luck on my “love quest” as I haven’t been going out as much as I like. Frankly as I said earlier this year, I don’t really see young people around my age often anymore. Maybe they all live in the city now with high paying meme jobs after getting their degrees while I am stuck in small town bum fuck nowhere with barely any opportunities to do something exciting with my life or meet anyone that isn’t a asbestos ridden greedy boomers or mid-life crises gen x degenerates. I had like one dream fairly recently and I’m surprised it took me this long to actually start dreaming again. I wrote about it in my dreamlog and certainly does reveal my concerns for the future. Did you all hear about the collapsing banks lately. Monday isn’t going to be fun for some people. But all this was to be expected. Supposedly, someone who claims to have foresight on the future said we will be forced into some crypto currency in the year 2024 along with a social credit system that will determine one’s access to this virtual monopoly money. It’s hard to be optimistic with such an evil world out there but I’m not surprised anymore at this point.

Feburary 12, 2023: The Ayys aren't real.

The UFO news is a a distraction to hid the fact that there's a train crash in Ohio splooging toxic chemicals in the air making it essentially an American Chernobyl. Either that or it's just more ballons. But let's assume for a second that it is Ayys. The fact that they got shot down is probably a good sign nobody is going to get their Extraterrestrial waifus. Top it off with that report from Dulce, New Mexico where a bunch of Greys got into a firefight with some US military personal and some engineers in an underground facility where they biogenetically mutate humans with other living organisms and locked them up in cages and freezers and it's safe to assume that the Zeta Reticulians and Nagas/Draconians are not here for humanity's best interests. But that's all absurd. Disclosure about intelligent life other than our own will never be annouced in our lifetime or even while humanity still exists. The elites are doing just fine brainwashing the masses with E-celebs, memes, musuck, movgays, and Ted talks about how we're going to live in single room lockers and eat protestic meats for a living and we'll be content about it somehow. They don't need Ayys to scare people other than to distract those on the surface level of conspiracy theory enthuistists.

I just wanted to get that out of the way because I have a good feeling I'm right about all this. Otherwise, I don't have much to talk about. I haven't really done anything productive on this website or on my other site with my writing projects. I start typing at night but I can't keep myself up for too long. I hate not being a night person.

Feburary 9, 2023: Legend of Zelda: Nuts and Bolts

Yeah. I saw the Nintendo Direct yesterday and it was...meh. Pikmin 4 seemed kind of cool...I guess. It's going to have the dungeons like those from Pikmin 2 which is fine. I like the Pikmin games though I only played the first two. My younger self would had been excited for more Pikmin sequels but I'm too old at this point to be excited for new games anymore. Metroid Prime is another game I like but I don't know if $40 for a remaster is worth it. Just play it on Gamecube or on an emulator. $40 is way too much for a game that's two decades old. Imagine doing a remaster like Super Mario All Stars did with the original Mario Bros Games but selling the games individually for the same full price the NES ones sold a couple of years ago and you get the idea why it's retarded. They could had at least included the other 2 Metroid Prime Games and maybe the value aspect of it wouldn't be so bad. But that's just Jewtendo for you. A new Professor Layton is cool too I guess. Uh...I didn't really care for anything else on the direct to be really quite honest. In fact, I don't think a vidya presentation has ever made me jump up and down doing a youtuber basedface while squealing like a girl with my hands flapping like a bird because le big suprise annoucement.

I'm not much of a Legend of Zelda fan but Jesus Christ that "sequel" to Breath of the Wild looks embarressing. It looks exactly the same as Breath of the Wild which came out...ah jeez a couple of years ago or something? But now you can drive in that one Xbox 360 Banjo Kazooie game. And the graphics are....underwhelming. Like I get that the Nintendo Switch hardware isn't amazing but I think going open world with The Legend of Zelda was a mistake. If you make an open world game with nothing but empty fields, it's going to look like shit. The better open world games have stuff to fill out those empty voids when you are going from one objective to the next. Apart from shills and people who don't know anything about gaymen, I heard very mixed opinions about the first Breath of the Wild games. Some people I trust claim that it sucks so I'm going by their opinion and it was never something that I'd be interested in. The memes coming out from it have been chuckle worthy so that's something.

This blog as been so-so and so has my feelings. I feel...tired. Maybe it's my weird sleep patterns lately. I have been waking up really early for no apparent reason. I haven't been dreaming either. And my room just feels too warm for me to be comfortable. I don't want to turn on my room fan this early in the year but I guess I have no choice. I wish I had a hammock outside so I can at least sleep somewhere with fresh air and cool temps. Even I get ravaged by a feral dog, or shitbul, or something. I really don't feel like going to work tomorrow (or anymore for that matter).

Feburary 4, 2023: 你好

I was going to complain about how much Feburary is a sucky month but everyone got scared over a ballon. Very cool. How did it even get into the US lmao? This country is such a joke. /pol/ even had Chinese flags for a while which was hilarious. They should had kept them for a few days ha ha. Anything to scare off the election and Ukraine war tourists. Yes! But in all fairness, I really want my own spy ballon now. Maybe I can build one with a loud speaker for shits and giggles.

I didn't get any sleep last night. I kept waking up to my smoke alarm constantly chirping every 30 seconds (and yes I counted exactly every time it did it). Happened around midnight and I was losing my cool an my energy. I had to throw out the batteries and put in some new ones because they haven't been replaced for God knows how long already. Well, technically, this smoke detector has been in my room since....well...since I was born. It's depressing to think about but I never really left my room in over 30+1 years. Not literally mind you. But Even when I was in Uni, or whenever I would go to work, I'd always come back to the same room. Sometimes I'll replace some furniture here and there but the room is always the same no matter what. It's a miracle that I haven't gone crazy from being so stuck in mediocrity in my life. It's all so very boring. Stressful sometimes, but mostly boring.

Might as well get this out of the way. I'm 99 percent not going to have a significant other for V-day on the 14. I haven't been going out lately. I have been busy with work, maintaining my car, and working on my story and a little bit of music here and there. I just don't have the time or necessarily the will power to go out and try to break out of my shell lately. It doesn't help that I'm not really seeing people in my age group on a daily basis. I have a itching suspicion that most young people (Even those in their early 30s), are stuck at home doing nothing and not really going out. It wouldn't even suprise me if that were the case. Everyone is anti-social now. What a rotten time to live in honestly. My parents told me and tell me a lot shit, but I can assure them there are people out there that are far worse off than I am in terms of social isolatoin. I'm at least trying to make an effort here. Even if I can't give it my 100 percent of my time and effort.

Thankfully, I am getting "something" in terms of a tax return. Not as much as last year but whatever. I think now might be the time to put some upgrades into my aging desktop to at least get some life out of it. Specifically, I'm planning on upgrading the ram from 8GB to dual channel 16GB DDR3 as that's the max the Dell Inspiron 660 can support. I plan to change the power supply to something better like a 600W PSU (One of the Gold rated ones as it's not too pricey), A 3rd Generation Intel I7 CPU (Sub $100) and probably the most expensive upgrade (The GPU). I think something like a GTX 1660. It's a compact card that hopefully shouldn't give me any issues with my motherboard or PC case. I think it'll make a nice sleeper gaymen pc however, that's not the reason why I am considering buying these upgrades. I want to dip my toes into CAD software so I can start making my own 3D models for printing and now with AI being all the rage these days, I want to play around with some local instances of running AI software off my hardware. Primarily for image generation or even chatbots like Pygmalion-6B (Since is going down the shitter thanks to faggot ass self sabotaging dev I'm not even going to bother to name). So yeah, I think I might as well do that anyways considering the weather is going to get warm real soon for any outdoor activities anyways and ammo is still too expensive to be waisting on range trips at the moment so that'll be on hold unless I can have the opportunity to try something neat.

I took care of a lot of buisness this week, and I'm not too worried about anything else lately. I guess that's not the worse thing to consider. Maybe I'll play some Daggerfall again. I'm craving some fantasy RP lately.

January 24, 2024: Taxes and Braces.

No No...Not TexASS. Taxes. More specially, tax season. It's going to be apparent that I'm not going to make as much with my tax return as I did over the past two years. I did become jobless and homeless for a while so... It's kind of to be expected really. Goverment printed so much cash money, they are now taking out of my pockets now. Oh well. But I need one more document to either come into my mailbox or I'll have to get it online. Too bad this goverment site wasn't working today (When is anything from the goverment working at all?) so I can't even file my taxes as early as I wanted to.

You know what also doesn't work? Goverment agencies when it comes to logic. Specifically the gAyTF and their new pistol brace ruling. Because of some fedora wearing gangsters from the 1920s and 30s were smuggling booze because of an alcholol ban from a bunch of first wave feminist cat ladies who got sick of their husbands coming home drunk from working the mines 8 - 5 on the weekdays, and these so called gangsters bootlegging all the rum were rich enough to afford nice guns like the Tommy Gun, which were used in like one inccident on Valentine's day at most, the United States created the National Firearms Act to fuck over people who want to have nice things such as machine guns, short barreled rifles and "destructive devices" whatever that means. I don't want to go into the whole history and how fucking retarded the National Firearms Act is in retrospective and in current times (Watch this if you want the whole story about what I am talking about.) but the jist of it was that they wanted to ban handguns because those were the most common firearms used in crime because of how easy they were to conceal. The question then came around that people would just take rifles and cut them down into a makeshift pistol so they too were to be outlawed alongside pistols. Somehow, they realize that banning pistols was a terrible fucking idea even by 1930s standards and thus the SBR rule ended up staying because congress and law makers didn't even bother to take it out along with the pistol rule. Suppressors were also added to the ban for (get this) no apparent or logical reason what so ever. If you wanted any of these cool things, you had to pay the ATF $200 for a tax stamp (which isn't much now but back then only the very wealthy could afford anything $200).

So fast foward to the 2010s and pistol braces were introduce to the market as a means for people with crippling disabilities to shoot some "handguns" easily by use a strap which wraps around your arm. Of course, most people ended up using them as shoulder stocks for their pistols as they weren't really considered stocks by ATF at the time. So then there was this whole back and forth between if they could even be shouldered and for a while they weren't and then they were and then they weren't again. And now in just this month, after nearly a decade of saying it was okay to put a brace on your pistol, it is now illegal to have a brace because the ATF considers them a stock now. Do you see how absolutely confusing and fucked up this all sounds? Thankfully I don't actually have any of this braced pistols as I kind of thought they were a shitty cope for a sbr and never liked how they felt but for those who did buy them years ago, they are kind of fucked. There's even more bullshit in this ruling about imported pistols and basically if you break any of these new rules, you'll get more jail time than a kiddy fiddler for just making something the ATF doesn't like. Talk about crazy right? Like as a firearm owner, I have to be on my ass to make sure the things I own now won't all of a sudden become illegal overnight. Most people don't even have time to keep up with all of these new rules and laws. They'll go buy a gun just because and then later down the line they aren't even aware of the thing they bought years ago is now all of a sudden illegal to posses. Like there isn't even a grandfathering rule like with machineguns for instance or with certain guns made before a certain year.

And outsiders from other countries think our gun laws are too lax. Don't make me laugh. Even in countries with strict gun laws, you don't have to deal with some illogical rules like we do. Canada for instance, you can have a sawed off shotgun handgun thing if you have a firearms license. French gun owners in France don't have restrictions on supressors and I know a guy from that country that has a semi-auto 22lr plinker with a supressor. Sure getting the license is difficult but once you have it, you do have the option for one without doing sumersaults and tax stamps which can take months if not an entire year justs to get approved for.

Supposedly there's a bunch of law suits already in the works to fight back all the bullshit that was just decieded at the beginning of the year. I'm not optimistic aobut any of them and it'll be months if not years before there could even be some kind of universal rulling with any of them. The whole bumpstock thing for instance juts got overturned from what I heard and even that's not something I'm even certain is 100% legal again. I guess it depends on the state your living in and some states are even more restrictive than the federal laws if you can belive that. But it is what is I suppose.

On a better note, I seem to be on a roll with my story that I am working on as I managed to get two chapters out in a matter of days. Not bad, though nowhere near as quick as I was doing with my original fanfiction I was working on last year. I guess having some kind of reference from my life helps with writing the story. I just don't want to make a carbon copy of my own life story so I'm doing mostly all I can to try to differentiate it while still keeping some experiences from my real life into the story as much as possible. At least the chapters that take place in the current time period are mostly fictional while the flashbacks are vaguely reminence of my own experiences in high school throught the persepctive of another character. I think that works out quite nicely as it sort of serves as two stories in one that are connected in a way. Plus it gives more opportunities for me to really explain my two main characters in this story. We'll see how this ends up. I really want to have a complete story for once on my Waifu Library page.

January 19, 2023: Incompetent Boomers, More Sheetshow, and uh...

Feeling much better than I'd ever been in a while. Had a nice jog too. I'm trying to enjoy the outdoors before it gets really really hot. This is despite the clusterfuck that is where I work. Now normally, I don't have much to say about work as there's really not much to say about it other than it's mundane, pay is garbage, and all I do is manage finaces, transport supplies on a truck, and manage some tech shit behind the scenes. But I would have to say something that could potentially get me fired if my boss sees this is that he's one of the most Incompetent managers I'd ever had to deal with. It's all because he outright refuses to get organized with his documents and finances (such as expendatures and sales) that he is constantly falling behind payments, orders, and so forth. It's not a huge deal for me in particular as my boss' sloppy management is what allows me to keep this job but it pains me to see such a company run as badly as this where he's constantly going to the bank to desposite money for the buisness account because for some reason, all of those earnings end up disappearing and he's always on the verge of being broke. But of course, boomers are always so stuck up with the way they do things so no amount of suggestions and critiques is going to fix anything this god forsaken company. Even the other employees here are fed up with the sloppyness of our boss and most of them don't stick around for too long. Like imagine trying to get some work down for a client but your boss keeps holding you back because he's either losing money from overspending his bank account, losing documents left and right, or breaking his computer or cell phone in ways I can't even imagine possible. I feel sorry for the clients who have to do buisness with this local company because there's always constant delays to payments and deliveries. You can't be doing this shit in an age where people are spoiled with fast, no bullshit deliveries like those from Amazon. Slow buisness wouldn't be so bad in something like a small town with a very homogenous and close commmunity but in a suburb or urban locale, you can't be waisitg time. I can't stand hearing his ringtone going off over and over because he keeps getting calls from clients that have been waiitng and waiting for their orders to go through and then they just go on and on about irrelavant topics instead of just focusing on getting buisness done. I'm not sure how much I can put up with this and honestly, I've seen fast food chains work more efficently and smoothly than this place.

More shotshow news. Apparently PSA is bringing back that dead in the water project from many years ago when InRangeTV/Forgotten Weapons were shilling pre-orders for a STG-44 remake that never went into production and there was a whole heap of drama surrounding the original company years ago because of that. Well now, PSA sort of bought them out or something like that and it seems like now they have the facilities to produce them in massive quantities now. They'll come in all kinds of calibers from the original 7.92×33mm Kurz to more modern calibers like 5.56×45mm, 7.62x39mm, and even that .300 blackout meme cartridge. It's supposed to come out this year and I'm very interested considering PSA's products tend to not be very expensive to began with but it's probably a smarter idea to just wait for the 3rd generation of the rifle like everything else PSA does as that tends to be the point where they fix all of the quirks of making a new rifle from scratch. Oh and apparently Bersa is making ARs now which is insane to think about. I love my Bersa Thunder 380 and just thinking about having a Bersa AR lower or something like that for one of my ARs would be kind of silly but intriguing. High Point YC9 isn't going to be out anytime soon but the 10mm that I mentioned earlier will be coming up around the corner for sure. Last but not least, Henry is making a Fudd 9mm Semi-auto rifle that takes Glock Magazines (along with conversions for SIG and Smith and Wesson mags too). Maybe it's the inner Fudd in me but I kind of like the way it looks (More so than that Ruger PC carbine) especially because it has some really nice wood furniture. It's not going to be cheap but around $1000 more or less, it's honestly on the lower price point when it comes to pistol caliber carbines. Ruger is still the cheapest at around $500-$700 depending on configuration. I like the concept to be fair. A traditional rifle with the capabilites of a modern rifle. I just like it.

Still have to work on my first chapter of my story. I made a musical piece to accompy it but that's also so-so. I don't tend to have a lot of energy around this time as it's usually right after I do my daily jogs in the afternoon and I fall asleep right after making a blog post or a little more. I'm also doing something extra with my tarantula's enclosure lately too. I'm breeding springtails (hopefully) and might pick up some isopods to incorporate into some kind of semi-bioactive thing I'm trying to do for my roach bin and my tarantula enclosure. Can't really do it for my Hognose Snake as the husbandry for that snake is not suitable for the springtails and isopods I want to raise.

January 16, 2023: Tongue Pain, Shitshow 2023, and Potentially a New Idea

I can't believe I fell apart so early at the start of the year. I was hoping I wouldn't be incapacitated like last year but thanks to my terrible luck, I got steamrolled again by pain and suffering. Not in the edgy sense either but more so from my own stupidity. Case point, I accidentally chomped on my tongue earlier this month and ended up having really bad pain on my tongue for a week. I couldn't talk or eat right and tried all sorts of remedies like salt water, mouth wash and nothing seemed to be working until I finally got my medicine. I'm barely feeling better now as the wound is starting to heal but yeah, I'm never eating hard crunchy food again. I prefer softer foods anyways.

It's that time of year again, Shotshow 2023. The Gun Nerd's E3 and well....I know it's the first day so far so I haven't heard much yet but I'm kind of disappointed so far. Especially with Beretta. I was so excited when I heard they were going to bring back the Cheetah (I have the Model 81 in .32 ACP and it's a joy to shoot). The idea being that I can have another one in .380 ACP that I can interchange parts with my Model 81 and swap the .32 ACP barrel with the .380 one and have a modernized Cheetah that I can conceal carry while I leave the nicer collectable one back home. Well all of my interest went out the window when Beretta stated that it won't use the original Cheetah magazines. Something about new feed ramps for hollow points. But the gun itself...maybe it's just the golden bronze color scheme (that looks more like FDE than anything) is kind of ugly. Esepcially with that rail underneath the barrel. Normally I don't mind rails like that but on the new's just.....yeah...not my thing. It's a compact Beretta so...I don't see why it would even have one as all it's doing is adding more bulk. Usually the rails are for flashlights which are better suited as a bedside gun in my opinion rather than a carry pistol. Oh and it has an optic cut too which isn't necessarily a bad thing but man does it look kind of ugly on the slide. It doesn't even come with optic plates which is inexcusable. You have to wait for third parties to release their own just for the Cheetah which is even more bullshit when you finally realize the MSRP they are asking for this "High-End Pistol" $700-$1000. You're joking right? It doesn't even have that classy look like Berettas are known for. What a huge let down from Beretta. I also heard some very troubling accounts about their customer support lately too. Particularly when it comes to their APX Carry line of pistols which have been popping up around retailers for as low as $300. The APX line is basically a Beretta Glock but with it's own properitary magazine and maybe a slighly nicer trigger. It seems like the company is running into some problems lately which kind of sucks because Beretta is one of my favorite firearm companies. I love all of their pistols, even their quirky ones like the 9000 series and the PX4 Storm.

On the other hand. I'm kind of excited for Hi Point's new 10mm Ghetto blaster. I know Hi Point isn't exactly a high end brand and even hood niggas will mock you for buying a high point but that's I mean, there aren't that many 10mm pistols out there but they are starting to become more trendy these days and that high point pistol in 10mm is the cheapest one you can get in that caliber (Sub $250 from what I heard). Plus it looks like some bizzare cyberpunk hand cannon and it looks so huge even for people with large hands...I just have to get my hands on one...but I'll wait for some people to beta test it because if there's one thing I learned from Glock owners is that 10mm handguns have a tendency to become involuntary hand grenades. I don't want to perma-ruin my fapping opportunities.

On another note. I have been thinking of another creative writing idea. One that sort of takes my life stories and experiences and puts it into something that's fictional but kind of a "what if" case for my own life. Basically, I want to do something along the lines of a self help kind of story but with a narrative plot and without the shitty "Just go up and hit on her bro." crap that pickup artists tend to talk about in their lectures and books. I want to do something along the lines of "Welcome to the NHK" but for lonelyness rather than NEETdom. I would vaguely use my own life's stories (especially those from this website) and add some creative stuff to them to make them different but more relavant to the plot of this story. The main character for instance would be losely based on myself and the other protagonist would be losely based on my crush from school but with different names, appearances, and some personality changes so that it's not completly identical or recognizable. The premise of this story is sort of something along the lines of the main character overcoming his lonelyness and anxieties with the help of this girl by going through exposure therapy sessions in public witht help of his high school friend/crush while trying to overcome regrets in his past and personal demons with his self esteem. I sort of thought of the idea while I was laying in bed from all the pain I had from my tongue injury. I was honestly begging for some kind of emotional support while I was in agonizing I wanted my crush to stand by me and tell me things were going to be okay. I wanted an angel to put it bluntly and yeah I know it's pathetic to call someone like my old crush as something like that when I haven't even seen her in years but suffering from pain or isolation tends to do that you. I feel like writing this sort of story would kind of be benefitial to those having that sort of feeling too I think. Even though I am working on getting myself out there and moving on from thinking about the past and my crush.

I was at the groceries earlier today and one of the female employees working there smiled at me at one the aisle smiled at me and even told me Good Morning. I returned the greeting and kind of felt really good that morning. She was kind of cute too, but I didn't really get to say anything else to her because I was kind of in a hurry as I had to go to work right after. I think I might not be entirely hopeless just yet.

January 2, 2023: Year of Redemptions?

Is that Haruhi up there? Anyways, I'm starting off the New Year on a better foot than last time. I finally went to Church yesterday after years of being out of it for so long. I'm not sure how I feel about it so far. I don't have that religious revival inside me that I was expecting but I assuming that's going to take some time like everything else in my life. I'll keep going on Sundays since I started again. Speaking of revivals, I"d had come to good terms with my mom around the end of December of last year so I'm no longer on her bad side anymore (for now) since I pretty much admitted that I was at fault for all the troubles I went through with school and my social life. So I guess that's nice to start off the new year with a better than clean slate. Sadly, I haven't seen any girls that aren't middle age or older on my first day. It was a Sunday after New Years so I assumed everyone was all sleepy. I didn't even pay attention or stay up late on New Years eve, I just fell asleep at 9pm and didn't even hear the fireworks.

I don't want to seem like I'm optimistic because I'm not convinced that things will get better overall but I have determination to "end my love quest ha ha" this year. Otherwise...yeah I don't have much to complain or say anymore right now because I'm mostly fine...well I am currently looking for another job at the moment. Something that'll give me more exposure to people my age instead of abestosed ridden boomers. What are 30 year olds even doing these days? Specifically the ones that messed up in college like I did. Whatever. It's been warm too. So much for that "MOTHER OF ALL WINTER STORMS". Other than that, I do feel like this is the year where I can finally make that final turn around and get myself back into normalcy like everyone else with a life. Hopefully I can stop being a freak of nature and become the "just like them" kind of guy I always wanted to be in my school days but couldn't because of my social anxiety. We'll see. (Please don't let me get sick again like last year....I'm begging you.)