My First Dinner Date With A Girl
Spoiler alert! It didn’t go well at all. Otherwise I would had started this off on a good note. But it was something of a learning experience for better or worse. It still kind of sucks I got nothing out of this date other than regrets and perhaps a wake up call to either how picky women really are or how behind I am as a man.
So a while ago before this all happened, I made it a sort of early New Years resolution for 2023 to try to get at least a girlfriend before the end of the following year. Basically, dates or setups don’t count unless she specifically claims or accepts me as her boyfriend. I explained the premise of this goal in detail in one of my rant blogs. But to cut to the chase, I basically got the help of my cousin’s friend from his college days before he dropped out like I did. (I know...it’s all so tiresome to have to make such connections) who basically asked my cousin about me since we had been in a shooting range session together not so long ago. He knew I was forever alone and said he knew this girl from one of his college classes that was single and was trying to hook up. He mentioned that this particular girl was quiet, christian, and into nerdy topics but warned me that she wasn’t very pretty. The later of which I didn’t take seriously and just went ahead with this arranged meetup with the help of this guy. I assumed people these days just have higher standards for girls these days so I didn’t think too much about it at first. I was just optimistic that perhaps this might be my one chance of breaking out of this incelebate curse once and for all. He gives me her number and I make the first move and text her.
I am very polite with my text and I basically start off with simple questions such as, what major she’s going into, what sort of hobbies does she like, and all that stuff. Really basic but effective ice breakers. She didn’t seem too bad at first. She was from out of state (specifically California which should have been a red flag in retrospect but I let it slide at the time), going to a state college close by to major in that one “science” where you dig up dinosaur bones. She was really into Dinosaurs and prehistoric life (it’s debatable if any of that stuff is real science or not but sure whatever). She also told me she was into linguistics but she barely knew any other languages other than English. Come on. Even my loner ass knows a little bit of German, French, Spanish, Russian, and Moon speak from all of my Japanese animes. Speaking of anime, she was into some strange anime called Hetalia or some shit. It almost sounds like Hentai-lia but it’s kind of an /int/ thing where you have all these male characters that represent different countries and you even have the axis powers like Germany, France, and Italy who is supposed to be some kind of dumbass. I never seen it but I looked it up and it was kind of weird and fanservicey for women so it wasn’t for me. I couldn't get through one episode of it. All of these things made this girl appear more weird than I am but maybe she’s just that homely type I was looking for. So I then text her that I am willing to meet her in person some time this week in the afternoon if she’s down for it. She agrees and mentions that her parents will drop her off so I will get to met them as well. Fair enough. Everything seems to be going okay so far.
Fast forward to last Friday from the time of this blog and I just get out from work a little early so that I can go home, ready myself to look decent and presentable and drive my way to the steakhouse that she wanted to go to so we can finally met at last. I decide to wear my olive drab field coat since it wasn’t too cold that night, dark brown chinos, and desert ankle boots. I was trying to go for something casual but nice without being too dressy and still have that outdoorsy look that I like. I also don’t wear my contacts this night and for once, insist on wearing my glasses so I can appear more nerdy and smarter than I really am. Usually, my hair is short and straight but lately, I have been growing out my hair again and I make my hair a little non-uniform so it can look more fluffy (I can sure use some head pats btw) . I am nervous but optimistic as this was something I was hoping for a long while as someone who has never been on a dinner date with anyone before. So I drive there and wait in the lobby of this steak house as I wait and wait and wait for her (or more specifically her parents to come drop her off). I text her to let her know I am here and she tells me she’s on her way. A couple of minutes later, she tells me she’s outside so I leave the lobby to go meet her for the first time.
What the guy was telling me was not an understatement. She really was not pretty or cute whatsoever. She was chubby, but not in a good way either. Overweight but at least not obese. Her face was kind of sloppy, not pretty at all and barely feminine. Her hair was way to long and not stylized in a way that would be deemed attractive. Just one single thin long ponytail that almost reached the floor. You’d be hard press not to mistaken her for a 40 year old but she’s younger than I am (She was 24 and somehow even I looked younger than her despite being 30). He fashion was conservative but it wasn’t good at all. She wore a jean jacket, mom jeans, some t-shirt and tennis shoes. I can’t even excuse her for looking like that because her parents drove a newish Mercedes Benz SUV and looked quite wealthy (I was told that her dad was a lawyer so I guess that makes sense). I did meet her parents and they were quite friendly. Her dad was white but her mom looked Mestizo or Injun. Perhaps that had something to do with her very subpar looks. Also she was slightly taller than me but not by much and she didn’t even walk right as she had this limp as she walked. I never really asked why because I didn’t want to come off as rude and well...beggars can’t be choosers. If I had to rate her on a scale from 1 to 10 with 10 being a female goddess, 8 being my high school crush, and 0 being some blob abomination, I’d rate her a 3/10. That’s just being generous though. The only “good” quality that she had is the fact that because she was chubby, her breast were also chubby too. I’d probably would be able to work with them if I closed my eyes or something but that never really ended up being the case anyways (and probably for the better too). I don't even like big fat breasts to be honest.
So I greet this girl, being on my best behavior to her and her parents who then wished the two of us to have fun before they drove off. Internally, I am very disappointed but I get on with it because I’d never been on a date before and it’s been years if not a decade since I talked to a girl face to face. So I get us a table, order some sweet bread, a small burger for myself and attempt a conversation with her to see if at the very least I can get some emotional attraction to her. Keep in mind, I’m not being pushy with my intentions as I do my best to be as normal and respectable as possible. I ask questions about her major, why she came all the way from California. I talk about my hobbies, my time in marching band, I don’t really mention flunking out of uni but I do tell her I studied Engineering for a while. I start asking about her favorite languages and so forth. Questions related to her interests that she told me about the day before with her texts. Actually, for once in my life, I was the one being more social than she was. She was mostly quiet and giving off simple or very blunt answers to my questions. Most of which barely even addressed my “interest” in those sort of questions. Like I wanted her to tell me something I didn’t know about her favorite subjects but she never delivered. I never brought up anything about politics but she did mention she supported Bernie Sanders (LMAO) but I keep my cool (from laughing) and tell her that’s cool “Bernie is a very anti-establishment kind of politician (lie)”. I never mention my right wing views to her. Not like I give off those sort of vibes to begin with but moving on.
I continue to try to engage in some sort of conversation with her as we have our dinner. One of the first thing she does after she gets her food is do the sign of the cross before eating. Yeah she’s definitely Christian alright. More than I ever was because I didn’t even do that when my parents were serious about church when I was younger. That’s a topic for another time. She ate worse than a pig. She ate her stake and would spill grease on her shirt and all over the place. I might had even heard her burp as she finished her meal. Not to mention, she ate more than me as I only eat half of my burger. Suffice to say, I am turned off but I don’t show it. If I am going to be serious about getting a girlfriend, then perhaps lowering my standards is the only way I could go so I thought. She then texts her parents to let them know she’s done eating and would like a ride home. I end up paying the bill unfortunately.
So while waiting in the lobby for her parents to pick her up, I tell that I enjoyed my time talking to her (I didn’t) and I would be done to meeting again some other time whenever she’s off. She then tells me that she isn’t interested in a relationship. I am completely baffled by this. Then why did she even agree to partake in this meetup in the first place? My friends cousin even stated that she was single and looking for friends and yet she’s telling me now she’s not interested! But I don’t go berserk over her “rejection”. I just say something along the lines of “Nah...don’t worry about it. I understand.” But in actuality I fucking don’t. Surely this ugly thing was interested in some sort of relationship with someone if she agreed to have dinner with me. Was she just there for the free food. Disgusting. Irremediable. As soon as her parent’s car came by again, I wished her a goodnight and waved to her parents as they drove off. I immediately called my cousin’s friend to let him know how the “date” went. It was a complete disaster! He did apologize and said she was kind of weird girl to begin with. Yeah no kidding. Still, I am thankful for him at least trying but unfortunately, he doesn’t really know any other girls that were single in his inner circle so that’s probably the last time I’ll get any help from him. I then tell my cousin about the whole date thing and he was very sympathetic. Basically, despite years of self improvement, working on my social skills, and generally being kind and respectable without being “Le supreme gentleman”, I was rejected by a 3/10 for a reason I do not and will probably never figure out. Was I being too normal? Did I come off as robotic? Am I too ugly even for a 3/10? Or maybe she just wasn’t a morally good girl to begin with who just took advantage of me to eat some fucking food. Her parents are rich, she can’t be that desperate for some steak. I didn’t even enjoy the meal in the end either as it gave me a stomach ache as I hate eating out. So I came out of this experience more miserable than I did going into it.
In any case, either I got very unlucky in this “date” or I am still far behind compared to most other guys in my age group or generation that I was not worthy enough for a 3/10. If the latter is true, that’s incredibly disturbing and very demoralizing. I’m hoping it’s not the latter as while I was shopping at a few days after that disaster of a date, a white girl looked at me and smiled as she walked past me as I was going into the grocery store. I don’t know what to make of that but I didn’t get anything out of that either as she probably left right after so I couldn’t really react on time. Or maybe there’s just something funny about me I am not aware of. I seriously hope this girl I had this dinner “date” with isn’t autistic enough to have a neocities page and see this blog post because then she’s going to be really pissed. It serves her right though. I was giving her a chance with someone that’s at least above her standards in my opinion. Well fuck me right? I still have to keep trying.
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