My Second and Final Crush
Despite my horrible experience with my first crush, I still felt a strong attraction to girls. I generally had passive attraction towards some girls here and there. I never really pondered too much with them except for one girl. She was a year older than I was and an upperclassman. Technically I have seen her since my middle school days but I haven’t felt any attraction for her until I was in Band Camp, right after my month in that STEM program. She was thin but fit, more or less the same height I was if not a tad shorter. She was very modest in her appearance. Sometimes she would wear a ponytail and other times she had her hair down. On some days, she would cut it down to a short though not a very short length. It looked good on her. She had a light brown hair color though sometimes she would dye it black and it still looked very nice with her over all appearance. She was very cute, if not a bit more cute than the last girl I had a crush on.
Unlike the previous girl, we were not even close to being friends. I only had a few encounters and interactions with her for the majority of the time she was in my high school. I can’t say I know her personality down to the very fine details but I had a general understanding of how she was just by observing her. She wasn’t like most girls in her grade level. She was very down to earth, I’d argue slightly tomboyish as she liked hanging out with guys more than she did with girls (though she still had some female friends). She didn’t shy away from making jokes, most of which were actually rather funny and edgy. She could be a tad racist sometimes too. It was very charming to say the least. But she wasn’t a slacker either. She was a supervisor and manager for organizing, and cleaning our marching band uniforms. She was also a member of the school track team whenever she wasn’t busy with band stuff. Academic wise, she seemed to get decent grades. In that one class I had with her, she was able to work with me despite my utter inability to talk or engage in conversation when she ask to partner with me for a project. She also happened to be somewhat of an environmentalist despite her edgy attitude especially for animals and the like. I can’t really say if she believed in the global warming nonsense but she particularly had a strong dislike towards littering and she would get mad at band members who wouldn’t put away their uniforms properly.
Surprisingly, she can be soft sometimes too. One time in class, there were these other band students that were mocking me during a group project. They mentioned something along the lines of me being some sort of psychopath and loose cannon. She straight up told them “(Name) is nothing like that. He’s like an innocent little teddy bear.” Till this day, I don’t know if that description about me had any good intentions or not but I’d like to imagine she didn’t see me as an unworthy outcast like all of those other people in my class. Maybe they were just jealous of the fact that I was the teacher’s favorite in the entire class and got the best grades overall for that specific class. Looking back on it, I think I only tried hard in class just to impress her. I never was one to care for literature and the arts outside of music.
There was also another time earlier than that when I was first getting my uniform sized and fitted by her specifically. I was a freshman at the time so I didn’t have my uniform assigned yet. She basically went around me and measured me. I ended up getting some of the smaller sizes for the uniforms. She showed me how to put on the uniform and right after I had the entire uniform and shako (hat) equipped. She told me I looked adorable. I don’t know if she was complementing me or if she was talking me down. But by the tone of her voice, she didn’t seem like she was being mean about it.
The last time I saw her was on my last day of my junior year of high school. It would have been her last year as well before she went into college. I haven’t seen her for months up to that point since I no longer had class with her and my band practice schedule was different than hers. It was right after I walked outside of my class that I was able to catch a final glimpse of her. She was almost vastly different from the last time I saw her but she was still very cute, despite being a grade above me. She had her hair died black and in a ponytail. Most shocking of all was the fact that she was wearing prescription glasses. Up to that point, I never seen her wearing any kind of glasses. I myself wore glasses up until my junior year when I made the switch from wearing glasses to contacts so in a way, it seemed like our styles almost switched in a sense. I didn’t think much afterwards once I lost sight of her but I always had this desire to see her again someday. I haven’t seen her since.
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