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My thoughts on Atheism and Why I Abandoned It

If you really think about it, atheism is more or less just another form of beliefs no different from any other sects of religion. Rather than being tied down by scripture, tradition, or philosophy, atheism relies on the "facts" and "sciences" observed by human observers. This wouldn't be a problem if it weren't for the fact that atheism is locked down into this narrow view of the universe. A universe that is so large and grand in scale, we aren't even able to map out our own world as it is. Atheism puts too much faith on human observation and explanation which is always prone to be flawed in one way or another. In atheism, there is no mystery to the universe, no sense of purpose in living, no sense of making notes of the past or the future. It is the most crude view of the universe with no clear goal for oneself. There is no morality in any actions and thus, there is no drive to self improve or become a better self for your kin. Atheism is acceptance of the mortal reality and complete denial of anything beyond the physical realm.

It is because of this, you don't usually find people who follow this ideologue with good moral character. The community that I witnessed online are hardly people you would call intelligent. They are smart in someways but completely idiotic in another. Some are simply atheistic as a means to avoid morality all together and to indulge in some sort of illusion of high life or enlightenment despite following one of the most closed minded sects of humanity. It's for those reasons why I don't consider myself an atheist anymore. I believe in something beyond the reality of which we see, feel, and follow, and you cannot deny the possibility that there was some sort of intelligent design to the reality of which we live in. Religious experience alone is more than enough to realize this assuming you don't push it aside like atheist do. With that said, there was a point in my life where I too had fallen for this failed ideology.

If you had ever read my life stories blog, you would know I had a rough incident with romance as far back as my high school years. At that point, it felt like all the forces of the world were completely against my favor. It wasn't just due to romantic failure either. Beginning with my middle school years, it was just unfortunate luck and turn of events occurring one after the other, constantly being mocked and mistreated for my condition and misfortunes. While I did have some success in some aspects, it wasn't enough to balance out my misery. To go through that would had tested your faith, and I had lost that test. I looked for avenues to place the blame on my failures. Religion happened to be one of those I took shots at. The problem being that I felt that the truth I got from going to mass and Sunday school wasn't something I could get behind initially. Especially right after my parents divorced. Such a thing wouldn't happen in a just world. These same parents who raised me on religious values are now going against the same values they expected out of me. To me, it seemed like the whole idea of religion was falling apart right before my eyes. Top it off with the lack of hope in the world and you have a recipe for one unmotivated and un-optimistic individual. All of these feelings lead me into becoming an atheist and participating with like minding people online in spreading propaganda for my own beliefs or rather disbelief in spiritual matters. To act like I was some sort of superior to the masses just because I deny any future beyond what the mortal realm had to offer; it was sort of my way (along with other like minded people online) to get back at society for doing us wrong.

What I begin to realize later on right after the lowest point of my life is the fact that religion had nothing to do with my downfalls at all. This truth couldn't be more apparent once you look at the state of the world as it is right now. The people who you once looked up to for inspiration are nothing more than those attempting to push their agenda onto everyone else and have no particular interest in the "truth" of the universe. To many, by being atheist, it removes all the sense of moral responsibility for their actions. Just look at many of the former Soviet nations and you get a general idea of what I mean. Countries and nations where religion was completely outlawed and yet corruption still ran rampant (in many ways if not worse than most religious institutions). These people who push these ideologies don't want you to have a self but merely want you to be involved in their agenda as a piece of cog. They do not care for what is morally right and just. They can't even justify what is logical in most cases. I'd even go as far as to call them anti-science in the sense that they see humanity as capable of changing the universe as they see fit. It's all for the lust of power in the end. The reason the world is the way it is (especially in wesetern countries) is in part due to the fact that religion itself is no longer prevalent in society. Without a sense of the spiritual and moral outcome of our actions, people are able to convince themselves of morally unjust actions such as tyranny, greed, lust, and various other forms of sin that do more to harm humanity than they realize.

That's not to say that certain religious establishments aren't prone to the same corruption and agendas of atheism. The very fact that atheism even has them is more than enough proof for me not to align myself with them as an arbitrator of truth. If you really wanted to find answers to spiritual questions, you would have to look for them yourself. By doing your own truth seeking, you are at least capable of putting your agenda aside and open yourself up to what you believe is the ultimate truth of the universe. Personally I tend to lean towards Christianity but I wouldn't say I am completely knowledgeable on the aspects and lessons of the religion just yet. I still have a long way to go before I can consider myself completely and spiritually enlightened. At the very least, I do see some hope at the end of the tunnel in this stage of constant struggling an suffering because of my current spiritual beliefs. I could not say the same if I were still an atheist. The whole world may appear to be going godless but that doesn't mean I have to as well.

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