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Social Rants

Do I really hate women?

I like to call all women whores because these days, that’s all they are. They are slaves to their primal instincts that society has openly promoted to behave in such a way that they seek out the most alpha 1% of the male population. You’re too poor? You aren’t qualified! Too short? Not qualified! You aren’t black? Not Qualified! Don’t have any sexual or romantic experience? Not qualified! Consider the fact we live in a civilized world. Not even in third world countries do they live as if they did during the stone age. We used to have standards for society to ensure that every man has the opportunity to participate in making civilization work. Even if you weren’t a social butterfly or a celebrity, you still had a duty to reproduce, have a family, and engage with others by working or providing a service. That’s not the case now. Now, society openly discriminates against those with different views, those who abstain from what is desired by mass media. If you aren’t this or that, you can’t have a family, you can’t apply for this job, or you can’t get this opportunity or that. Society, and especially women, are openly engaging in genocide against the 99% of men. I’d think it’s even worse than direct genocide because at least with direct genocide, you are shot on sight, and you aren’t left to suffer for long. This sort of genocide is slow, drawn out, and extremely painful (physically and mentally). If you aren’t fit for society, you are expected to starve to death and die alone and with no loved ones. That’s what I feel most women are doing to me now. I swear this whole ordeal must have kicked off for God knows how long. It didn’t really seem like this when I was younger. Something or someone in the media must be pushing an agenda. In any case, do I really hate all women? That’s actually something I can’t really say to be quite honest.

Right off the bat, the kind of women I do hate are people like my own mother (selfish, greedy, pushy, and psychotic. No regard to use intelligence to solve problems, non-stop yelling, and bitching), women my age (all whores and sluts, those who aren’t are already married and I have no opinion of them since they did what mother nature had instructed them to do for thousands of years to keep the human race going; thus no issue with them specifically), and just modern women in general. They have no faith, no love for life, and are absolute sinners in the sense they chase after wealth, lust, and power. They have no regard for the future of their country or their children (if they even have them at all). Like I said earlier, the media is too blame for this.

But it always wasn’t like this, and as much as it pains me to say it, I think there were at some point, decent women in my life. I’d go as far as to say some of my favorite people growing up were entirely girls and women. Perhaps because they have personally helped me out, or maybe I had a strong attraction to their looks and appearances. Sure I had have been back-stabbed and ignored by some women but there were a few exceptions that in all honestly, didn’t make my life more miserable than it already was.

I never got along with any of my family members except for my male cousin who was a year younger than I am but grew up in similar circumstances like I did. While we differ when it comes to skills and hobbies, we both can agree on our philosophical views on society and the world. Though there is another relative I didn’t have a problem with. A female cousin, older than I was by a couple of years. She was really smart, had a good christian upbringing, and she would consider me her favorite cousin. Although I would rarely see her, when she would visit, she would always spend quality time with me for as long as I remember. When I was an infant, she would babysit me when my parent’s were away. As I got older, she introduced me to stuff like video games, robotics, science topics, music, and even took me outside sometimes to walk with me. She was there for me if I ever had questions about school work. She’s like the mother I wish I had, even though she was only a few years older than I was. I would get upset and cry whenever she had to go back to her home state and then feel bummed out about it right after she left. The last time I saw her was back when I was in middle school. From what I heard, she was able to enroll in Stanford University and graduated with a Doctorate and now teaches some subject in some university. I’d wonder what she would think if she saw me in the state that I am in now?

Another influential girl in my life was my middle school band director. She was one of the new directors for the school, fairly young, and very attractive. Before that, we had this old hag and the same director as the one I would have for high school who also did instructions for our middle school during his off time. She showed up around the time I was in 7th grade and soon became a favorite for most of the band students there. She was new and hip, and was a nice change of pace from the previous directors we had. Prior to 7th grade, I wasn’t really all that skilled in playing my Saxophone, since I was barely learning to play it. Eventually, I got the hang of the instrument and was able to make it to Symphonic Band (the 2nd high tier band prior to Honor’s Band and higher than Concert Band). Somehow, I must have become really good and my director began to take notice. She praised me for my skills and during our chair exams (These were test to ensure we could play our music properly. If you did better than your peers, you would be moved up a chair) I would always make first chair out of my entire section. Right after the first semester, I was promoted to Honor’s band which I would continue to play for the rest of my middle school years. She also found out I could play my music by memory after analyzing it for a short while. She would have me demonstrate my ability front and center when we had our concerts for parents and staff. She considered me a prodigy and soon I was one of her favorite students. She let me participate in state competitions for solos and one of the select few students in our band to play along the very best in our region in some sort of state wide completion. I’d say it was one of the highest points of my musical career and middle school in general. While I didn’t make any friends, I did demonstrate my potential to not be a fucking loser. Once I got into high school, I no longer made an effort to try hard ever again. Sure I worked hard during marching season but I didn’t put all my effort into stuff like solo competitions or regional competitions like I used to. Regardless, I think she helped solidified my passion for music.

Another instructor that was found of me was my high school AP literature teacher. For some reason, all of these good teachers I had were all younger compared to the other teachers and staff I had to deal with from time to time. It was one of those courses that was above my grade level and yet I was able to qualify for it. Just like my band instructor from middle school, she recognized some of my talents and helped me expand on them further by inviting me to do some stuff for the school’s literature paper, some of my works even ended up going into state publications. I was also one if not the top student for that class and I often got high praises for my work. Since I would often get there early, she made me help out prepare class materials and assignments before class started as well as sometimes asked for my help to grade papers after school (assuming I wasn’t busy with band practice or robotics club). She also praised my outfits sometimes since I started to dress a little more mature and differently from what I used to wear (mostly dark colors long sleave shirts with pants or shorts to button up casual shirts or sweaters with khaki pants, denim or combat jackets in the winter, brown boots, and sometimes a beret or flatcap). She mentioned that I had some class in the way I would dress. Even though I wasn’t even confident in my fashion per say, I still made an effort to dress decent. Of course, it wasn’t her that had my attention in the classroom.

Last but not least, I can’t forget about the girl I loved but never confessed to. My high school crush, whom I already had discussed in my life blog, was probably the one girl I wish I would had became closer with. She also happened to be in the same AP class that I was in. Even though we weren’t friends, she felt like some sort of angel to me. Especially in a life where mostly everyone is either hostile towards you or doesn’t know you exist. I don’t know if she really did care for me but she must of acted like she did. Just by the basis of how I seen her interact with others, it was unusual for someone like her to treat me like I wasn’t trash. Maybe she knew I was pathetic in everyway and just wanted to not burden me anymore than I already was or perhaps she was teasing me just to be passively mean. Eitherway, I didn’t hate her. Far from it. She was the only girl I know that I loved but didn’t get heartbroken by. I still have regrets of never telling her how I felt about her.

So that’s pretty much it when it comes to women and girls I didn’t have a problem with. I doubt I would ever meet any other girls like them these days. I have pretty much given up trying to find attractive and good willed girls at my age. It’s already too late for me and I am doomed to die alone. Unless some freak series of events were to occur where somehow I would magically be able to meet the love of my life, or perhaps my deepest and most sacred crush from my high school years, I don’t see myself being socially successful with women anytime soon. Something about modernity has brought the worst in women these days and it’s not only harming my chances of having a happy life but many others in positions just like me. I don’t feel alone in this struggle and that’s the one thing that’s keeping me from total despair. In any case, I think women are indeed trash and awful but I don’t hate all the females that I have interacted with. If only women were more decent like they used to be.

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